Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
