this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
