I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
