Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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