My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
