i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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