How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
