That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Are we in a gay sports bar?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
