he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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