took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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