Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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