We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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