Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
