Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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