hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
