He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
