I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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