The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I don't deserve a penis
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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