Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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