soooo we both peed the bed last night...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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