i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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