So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My bed smells like the plague
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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