Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
