It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
