so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
