hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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