My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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