This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
