just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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