so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
