I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
