That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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