my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
