Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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