got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
