if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
