just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
