shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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