just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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