therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
