I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
