do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
