Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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