when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
