Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
