They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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