She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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