true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He passed out mid-signature
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
