i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He keeps bees of course he's weird
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
