If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
