i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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