Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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