sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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